Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
