her vagina looked like bernie madoff
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
