I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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