im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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