You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
i out mim tonsoeep
tell me about the eggs
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
