Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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