if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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