i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
