Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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