It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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