These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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