Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
