so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
