you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
