The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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