fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
