id be glad to
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
