I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Randomize
