I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
