tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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