cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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