FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
