ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
