That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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