508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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