just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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