I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
