Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
