Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
