but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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