Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
