Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
