So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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