And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
