if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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