In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
