Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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