Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You can't just leave with hair like that
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
