I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
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The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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