I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
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My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
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We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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