They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
3pm strippers are depressing
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
