Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
