Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
