well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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