Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
