This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
