so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
