dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
