Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
