he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
