sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
you never un-have a 4some
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
