I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize