Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
