My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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