Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
