No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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