"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
