operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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