Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
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I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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