Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Is Oprah even human
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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