If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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